I still hunt around for the best prices on everything and I can’t bring myself to buy a new car

The Question:

I grew up poor. Like not having electricity, running water and only eating at school for stretches at a time poor.

I broke the generational curse of poverty and it’s been 20+ years since I’ve struggled but because of my experience with poverty, I abhor waste and always feel  the need to be prepared.  Because of this when we bought our home we bought in the country and I made sure it had its own water source and abundant wildlife.

I learned to can food and make all our meals from scratch (because it’s healthier and cheaper) and we save and eat all the left overs.

I still hunt around for the best prices on everything and I can’t bring myself to buy a new car. (We have used cars we have kept running for almost two decades). The thought of spending thousands on a vehicle  makes me physically ill to even contemplate. Expensive vacations  give me the same anxiety. We’ll spend the money to visit our daughter who is active duty military, wherever the military may take her but an expensive pleasure trip for us? I can’t do it.

At what point do you let go of being frugal to enjoy the fruits of your labor? Or do I even need to? I’m happy with my simple life of simple wants and needs and I’m lucky that my husband is onboard. But I also wonder if the fear of poverty is making me miss out on some of the fun things in life but if so, I can’t figure out what they are.  Or maybe being frugal is my happy place? I don’t know? Has anyone gone through similar?

What did people say?

⇒ Terry: Pick one place you have always wanted to see and plan a frugal way to travel there. See how you feel about your experience once you are home and look at the photos… it’s an individual thing, I love to travel it’s like going on an adventure! Feel most like myself when on the road.❣️camp sometimes works other frugal places exist just have to do your research.

⇒ SA Day: I also grew up poor so I could relate a lot to what you were saying. Where we differ is I also want to be able to look back and have truly throughly enjoyed my life and have experiences that become fond memories. You can be frugal and still enjoy life with vacations, a newer car, or whatever it is you want. There can be a balance of being smart with your money and living a little.

⇒ Tancy: My Dad grew up poor during the Depression. My Mom grew up very, very frugal during the Depression too, but not as bad as my Dad.

My Dad went into the Army, then onto college on the GI bill and became successful. They remained frugal, but from early in their marriage (before children) decided that they would save their money and spend it on travel, at first alone, then with us kids.

I grew up with home cooking from scratch almost every night, mom mending our clothes, laundry being line dried, cars repaired and washed at home, and Dad doing most repairs on most things before needing to call someone in. They also taught us how to do things and we had quite a lot of responsibility so we could chip in and help.

Every year, my parents would receive an offer to join the local country club. Every year they said, no thank you (it didn't align with the choice they made for our family.)

Because of their decision, we all traveled extensively around the world, but I also remember being sent out at age 13 in Switzerland to run across town/village to buy fresh strawberries so we could eat our breakfast in the hotel room and stopping at delis or mom and pop stores to order cold cuts, sandwiches, or meats for lunch where no one spoke even 2-3 words of english. We learned and loved every minute of it. They retired at age 54 as snowbirds, spending 6 months of the year down south with no regrets.

⇒ Ilze: I grew up poor. My mother was a single, immigrant raising 3 kids. I am now 28 and as much as I enjoy saving I also enjoy vacationing because it helps me reflect on how much and how far I’ve gotten. It’s even more special when I get to bring my mom with me because it’s a way to thank her for all of her sacrifices. There are ways to vacation on a budget it’s just a matter of planning. I understand your mentality and at one point I felt that way too. Whatever it is you decide just know that I (a stranger) is proud of you for breaking the generational curse of poverty.

⇒ Katie: If you’re happy you’re happy. I am the same way. I have no desire to travel or have vacations. Aside from just the financials, I find vacation stressful to the point it’s not enjoyable. I like being at home on my little farm.